Coastie Update #1 - Testing and Apprehension

Tuesdays are supposed to be my day to work.  My mother in law comes over to watch Solomon so that I can (ideally) go to her (adorable) cottage in Fairhope, sit on the porch, and get in a few hours of uninterrupted work done.  That's what I'm supposed to do.  But here I am, three hours after I left my house, and I still haven't tackled any of the tasks in my queue.  I can't help myself!  The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and this inviting outdoor lounger is WAY too comfortable to be used as a work chair.

In my defense, I did spend and hour and a half looking at some rental options down the street.  Like I mentioned in my last post, Jude and I are in the process of renting out our house so that we can move closer to his parents in Fairhope and I can have more hands on help with Solomon when Jude is away at boot camp and A-school.  We have a contract with the property management company sitting on our kitchen table waiting to be signed, and yesterday someone from the company came by to take photos of our home.  The only thing we are waiting for is for Judah to pass his medical tests at MEPS in Montgomery on Thursday.  He passed the ASVAB test (military entrance exam) with flying colors- a 92 to be exact- and I wasn't surprised one bit.    Technically this score qualifies him to work any job he wants in the CG, although when his best friend Aaron asked what job he will do "now that he's qualified for whatever job he wants," Judah replied, "Real men cook, Aaron.  Real men cook."  So Jude's scores didn't really change anything other than help to confirm our suspicions that there truly is "nothing that he can't do," and consequently, further solidify his "golden boy" image.  :)

On Thursday Judah will call me on his way home from Montgomery and let me know what happened at MEPS.  If he passes, then essentially he is "in" with the CG and the rest is just a matter of paperwork submissions and security clearances, so I will call the property manager and tell him that we are officially "on" for putting our house up for lease.  With a click of a button we'll be up on the Realtor MLS listings.  If for some reason Judah doesn't pass then we just know that God has closed this door, we regroup, and make a plan B.  :)  Either way, I feel like I'll be okay, and I think Jude feels the same way, too.  There are positives and negatives with every option here, and ultimately- it's in God's hands anyway.  

As is expected with any big change, I will say that we are both feeling a little bit of apprehension.  When Judah told me today that his recruiter called and confirmed his appointment with MEPS for Thursday I asked him how he was doing about it.  He told me that he's doing okay, but he has had a couple of moments of, "Wait- what am I doing?  Do I really want to do this?"  We talked, and it seems like this little bit of apprehension boils down to two things: his age and the fact that he'll be gone for five months from me and Solomon.  His age is a factor because, statistically speaking, he is old to be enlisting in the Coast Guard.  He's 29 (30 in November), and the average age of newly enlisted recruits is 23 years old.  Not only that, but the Coast Guards cut off age is technically 27.  The only reason Judah is getting in at his age is because he fits a very specific set of requirements and has a very specific skill set.  It's almost a given that he will be the oldest (by at LEAST 2-3 years) at boot camp and most of the guys will be 6-10 years his junior.  He'll have to keep up with the same physical stamina and energy level of guys still roaring on the adrenalin and testosterone of their young twenties.  We all, of course, have no doubt that he can succeed (with flying colors) at boot camp, but his unique situation is something to be considered.

I don't know what to tell him about his apprehension of leaving Solomon and I for such a long time. Right now Judah is working and in school full time, so his schedule leaves him very little time off.  It is very difficult for us to schedule family time or a night for us to go out on a date, however, he still comes home every night.  Even if he is gone all day and evening, I still know that I will see him at night, and Solomon will see him in the morning.  I don't like the idea of him leaving for five months either (especially at Solomon's age now where doing something new every day!), but I just keep telling myself that it's temporary.  Also, it won't be five months straight, as we can see him for a few days after his boot camp graduation, and then come visit again in the middle of his A-school training in California.  Unfortunately, we can't communicate when he is in boot camp (the first phone call home is a whole five weeks in- YIKES!), but we can talk on the phone when he is in A-school, and schedule daily Skype sessions.   I'm sure there will be hard days, but if we keep busy, it will fly by and before you know it we will all be together again.  

I'm glad that we are both thinking through this decision thoroughly, and it is a blessing  that Jude and I have learned to communicate well enough to comfortably dialogue about our concerns and fears.  I told Jude that if he decided today that he didn't want to do this, I would completely support him and I really mean that.  I just cautioned him that we shouldn't back out because of fear.  Fear is never a good reason to turn from change.  He agreed.  Right now we are still "fully in" our decision despite our apprehension, but I encouraged Jude to spend a lot of time in prayer- especially in the next few days of important decision making.  It goes the same for me because Jude and I are a team - either both in or both out.  If we don't both have complete peace about it, there is no point to keep moving forward.

So, today, we wait and just keep trusting that God is in control.  Tomorrow will bring whatever tomorrow will bring.  In the mean time, I will keep dwelling on the verse which says:

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."

-Proverbs 3:5-6

Sleeping on a Rock Pillow - Part 2

So, now that I've given you some insight into our internal thought process, I'll just give you the basic lowdown on what's new with the Clark clan.  Jude is in the process of enlisting with the Coast Guard.  :)  For most of you, this will come as a shock- it definitely shocked us!  Becoming a military family was never something we ever considered.  In fact, if you had told me two years ago that this is where life would take us I would have laughed- or cried- or screamed- or all of the above, but now that we're here, we are excited about the possibility ahead of us!

We anticipate a lot of questions, so we've assembled the most popular together here in our:

 Clark Coastie Q&A

1.  Why?  -  The most basic answer is, "why not!?"  However, the more complex answer has to do with Judah wanting to move into a career as a chef. Over time it has become evident to us that this is what Judah loves and is the most passionate about- not to mention he is insanely talented!  So, for the past couple of years Judah has been taking culinary classes and is hoping to transition to a career in the culinary arts.  The problem we are facing is that in order to start out a new career as a chef, Judah would need to start at the bottom, and essentially take a severe pay cut.  Considering our current situation, this would not be a possibility for us, so we started looking into other options.  Here in Alabama we have many friends who are Coastie families, and we have learned a LOT about the military life from them.  I don't remember who initially mentioned the idea of Judah joining the Coast Guard as a chef, but I do remember that he immediately shut out the idea.  He said that he wanted to be working as a real chef, not just "scooping slop on to people's plates."  Well, I was intrigued, so I started doing some research anyway.  

I found out that the military is actually desperate for individuals who are willing to cook, and they are even giving bonus's out to enlistees who will agree to work in the kitchen.  Not only that, but I learned that the whole idea of the military just "scooping out slop" is an antiquated one, and in fact, the chefs have a lot of leeway and culinary freedom to prepare whatever dishes they choose.  Over the years there has been an increase in nutritional awareness throughout the military, and they have even developed a "top chef" type of competition where the best chefs from each of the four military branches come together to compete once a year.  Additionally, the Coast Guard would pay for Judah to take as many cooking classes as he wanted, and he could finish his BA in Hospitality management for free.  Essentially, I realized that it is quite likely that Judah could not only get the experience he wanted to further his career, but he could also continue his education for free.  There is also the major bonus of Judah being able to serve his country (which he had mentioned to me in the past that he had always wanted to do), and all the practical bonus's such as free awesome healthcare, the GI Bill which can pay for 4 years of college for one of our children, veteran's benefits, possibility of full pension at retirement... etc.   I thought my findings definitely deserved a second conversation.  Now Judah was intrigued, and our second conversation turned to a third, and a fourth, and a fifth, and so on...

We considered all of our options, we laid out the pros and cons, and talked to everyone we could think of who might be able to give us some solid- and unbiased- information.  We prayed a LOT about this, and I can definitely say it was not a decision we made easily.  We wanted to be sure that if Judah decided to pursue this that we were both on the same page, that we were going into it as a team, and that whether it worked out or it didn't- we would be united, and openhanded about everything.  Up to this point, we are still on the same page, and we feel really confident that pursuing this is not just the best decision for Judah, but for our family, too.

2- When?- This is the impossible question because there is no way for us to answer it.  We have been told that there are no guarantees with the military until you get official orders, so we know that there is no way to even speculate a timeline.  The biggest hurdle right now is for Judah to get through the rest of the enlistment process without any problems.  Essentially he has two tests to go, and although we don't anticipate there being any issues, like I said before- there are no guarantees with the military.  People get disqualified every day because of things like an injury they had when they were 12, or a mistake they made when they were 16.  Lucky for us, Judah is healthy as an ox, but still- you never know.  

All this said- barring any unforeseen problem- Judah will go to boot camp at some point this year.  We are really hoping for an earlier ship date- something before September- but worst case scenario he'll leave Nov./Dec.  He'll be at boot camp for seven weeks in Cape May, NJ, and directly following graduation from boot he'll fly to San Francisco, CA for his A-school (this is where he gets his job training.)  This school is another 12 weeks.  I can see him briefly between boot and A-school, and I can visit him while he is in CA, but other than those brief visits we will be apart for almost 5 months.  We are renting our home because I would like to move closer to my in-laws so they can help me when I'm alone with Solomon.   They are the only family we have in the area, and currently they live about a half and hour away.  We'd also like to save some money if possible since Judah will take a temporary pay-cut until he's done with his A-school, so we are looking at rentals in Fairhope, AL- right near my in-laws.  It's actually an ADORABLE town- definitely my favorite place in the area down here- and we're actually really excited about the potential of living down there for a season.  We realize we might be renting earlier than needed, but because we don't have any way of knowing Judah's ship date, we figure that too early is better than too late.

3-  Where?  Again- it's impossible to answer this.  The best answer is that, we'll be wherever Judah gets placed!  If he ends up on a large boat (called a cutter), which is the most likely scenario because that is where most food service workers are currently needed, he will most likely have a two year tour at our first destination.  Land assignments - where he would work at a base- are usually 3 years, and cutter tours are usually 2 years.  Of course, Solomon and I will move with Judah, and we will live in the area where his boat is stationed.  The biggest drawback to the possibility of Judah getting placed on a cutter is that he would probably be gone from anywhere between 2 weeks and 4 months at a time (ie. out for three months, home for three months- etc.)  This is probably the factor in our decision that Jude and I labored over the most.  We talked it through and decided that even if he doesn't choose the CG, the restaurant business would most likely be just as demanding on his time and we feel confident that with the right support system in place, we could handle this schedule for a season.  

After Judah's A-school we do have the opportunity to make a list of our top choices for a location where we would like to be stationed.  There are a lot of cutter stations that are near our friends and family like Boston, Portsmouth, NH, Los-Angeles, Mobile, Baltimore, Washington, DC, so we will just put those places as our top choices, and pray we get one of our top pics.  This is an area where I really struggled with.  I HATED the idea of the possibility- albeit rare- of us ending up stationed somewhere like Alaska with Judah gone four months at a time.  But one day when I was thinking about it, and having so much turmoil I just felt God tell me, "let it go- relinquish control."  And since I've started doing that, this process has become a lot easier and more enjoyable.  

Basically, Solomon and I will be here until Judah is done his boot camp and A-school.  Could be 8 months, could be over a year- there is no way to know!  Then we will all move wherever he gets orders for!  It'll most likely be somewhere on the coast, although there are a few cutters stationed inland on rivers and lakes.  We'll stay there for 2-3 years, and then move on to another place for another 2-3 years.  Judah will most likely enlist for about 4 years.  After that point, if he loves it, he can re-enlist, or if he feels like his season in the CG has ended, he can leave and get a civilian job as a chef with his new great experience and education.

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Ok- I know I haven't answered everything here, but I am realizing this is pretty long, and it's very late, so I think I'm going to have to add a part three tomorrow.  If you have any questions, feel free to leave them in a comment and I'll answer them in my next post!  

Sleeping on a Rock Pillow - Part 1

It's amazing how easily we can cut ourselves off from possibility.  We do it for any number of reasons- ignorance, perceptions - our own or other people's about us (read my previous blog for more thoughts on this), insecurity, fear, laziness, comfort....  We can quickly close our minds off to new opportunities or ideas thinking that we are being reasonable, when really all we are doing is making excuses so we don't have to change.  This isn't always the case, but I'd venture to guess that the majority of the human race would rather stay within the confines of their "comfort zone" than venture out into "scary" new territory.

Jude and I are no exception to this.  Some might disagree, citing our year living in Africa, our many relocations, and our trips abroad, but if they knew me at the "beginning" of each change- they'd disagree. When I was 14 years old, missionaries from Ecuador came to our church.  I vividly remember that they brought a dead tarantula with them that was the size of my hand!  That night I told God that I would "be anything He wanted me to be, just as long as He didn't ask me to be a missionary."  I was Dead. Serious.  It took years of education, research and prayer for me to open my heart to living overseas, and even when we finally made the decision to move to Africa to work as missionaries, I still battled fear and insecurity about the process.  It was the same with us moving to Alabama.  Most people know that we moved primarily because of a job offer from Judah's father, but what most people DON'T know is that Jude's dad had made that same offer multiple times before.  I had just vetoed it every time without a thought.  I said, "why would God ever have us move when our family, friends, and church are here!?"  In a way, I had a point- we do have great family, friends, and church family in New England- but I was wrong to not even consider the fact that maybe God wanted us to move outside of our comfort zone again.  It took a tail-spinning economy to get me to even be willing to "pray about praying about" the option of moving to Alabama, but over time, God opened my eyes to new possibility once more.

Stepping out of your comfort zone is never easy, but I don't think that was ever the point?  Jesus's first words to His disciples were essentially, "Drop everything, give up your plans, say goodbye to your family, and let's go!"  I'm guessing there would have been a whole lot more than 12 disciples if this had been an easy decision- I doubt there were lines of people chomping at the bit to trade their pillow for a rock.  But they must have known somehow that stepping out of your comfort zone would never be easy.  In my experience- there are days when it just plain sucks.  I can tell you there have been countless days when I've cried about how much I missed my family and friends, and more than once Jude and I have looked at each other and said, "what the heck are we even doing here?"  But looking back, and now forward, I can see that God knew what He was doing when He moved us all around the globe, and He still knows what He's doing now.  I always knew that we were right where God wanted us, but I just wish I had learned to release control a little sooner.  That's the little secret about stepping out of your comfort zone that I have only recently learned- it gets a whole lot easier and much more fun if I let go of the reigns.  When I stop looking ahead- stop planning the next step- stop whining about having to sleep with my head on a rock...

And so here we are again- stepping out of our comfort zone- diving into something we would not have even considered just two years ago.  I don't expect it to be easy, but this time I've determined to release control, stop planing and let God do His thing.