The End of Chapter One

Before I conclude this chapter of our story and move on to the next, I just want to clarify that we are by no means attempting to compare our story with that of all couples who deal with infertility.  We fully realize that for most couples,  having an ending to their story such as ours would be a dream come true.  Our purpose in sharing our story with you was to shed some light on a topic which, because of it's personal nature, is often overlooked or misunderstood. Hopefully, in sharing the details of our story, we were able to bring a greater understanding to people about how life changing and difficult infertility can be.  

Also, it is our hope that other people will find encouragement in our story to stay strong, and continue fighting for the things that they believe in and love.  God's grace is enough for us no matter what type of struggle we may face.  Even in our darkest moments, we are never alone.  

Maybe you are reading this and you know someone who is facing infertility problems.  We have noticed that most people often have a hard time knowing what to say to friends and loved ones who are struggling in this area.  Not all couples will be the same, but there were a few things that helped us along our journey.

Pray for your friends.  Don't just tell them that you are going to "pray for them".  REALLY pray for them.  Pray that God will give them a family in his perfect timing, and in his perfect way.  The Bible gives many beautiful verses on prayer, but this one is among my favorites:

James 5:16- "The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results."

But don't be surprised if God answers your prayer in a different way than you expect!  There are many ways to make a family, and God often chooses to grow families through the means of adoption, or possibly, by way of scientific intervention.  After all, He is the only one who can see the "big picture," and only He knows the perfect child for each family.  It is important for your friend/family member to feel loved and supported in whatever decision they choose for themselves, so guard yourself against judging couples who might choose an option that goes against your own moral and religious code.  

Be sensitive to your friend.  I am not suggesting that you walk on eggshells when you are around them, or treat them any differently than others, but be sensitive to the fact that some situations might be a little hard on them.  For example (this was not my personal experience) but I have heard of some women, who, after battling years of infertility, decided to stop attending baby showers because it was just too painful for them.  Being supportive and understanding in situations like this can go a long way.  

Lastly, if it is a very close friend or relative who is dealing with infertility, don't ignore the problem.  Many people do this because they don't know what to say and they don't want to say the wrong thing.  However, what they don't realize is that ignoring the situation can sometimes be very hurtful.  You shouldn't bring it up on a regular basis, but a random encouraging card, or occasional reminder that you are still praying for them can mean the world to a couple who is walking such a painful journey.  These simple things can help to remind them that they are not alone.

Romans 12:15- "Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep."